Wow. That's all I know what to say. life has been such a joy recently. I've been doing really well with getting nutrition in. I'm still clean from self harm and rarely have urges like ever. I've been challenging myself a lot. Its been really fun to try a bunch of fear foods that I haven't had for years because of my eating disorder.
My C-PTSD has been kinda laying off a bit. i feel really empowered. When I do have any intrusive trauma memory or flashback I have been handling it very well... I've been in such a good mindset recently. speaking kindly to my mind and body, feeling lots of gratitude, and just overall having a positive attitude. I've been working really hard to be more active online and inspire others. While also knowing my limits(when i need a break.)
so that's good.
anyway, lets get on to the topic of this blog post...
I am extremely excited for new years. I've always enjoyed setting goals, healthy and realistic ones. Ones that are achievable and make me feel good inside when I accomplish them. I like setting monthly, yearly, weekly and even daily goals. broad ones, that I don't really check off but is just an overall this is what I want kind of thing. And specific ones, that I can check off.
I've never really had a problem with dieting or setting goals to "diet" or "loose weight" because I've always known that those goals were unhealthy for me and honestly they don't bring me joy, even when I was deep in my eating disorder. But I do recognize that some people do set goals like that and quite frankly in the nicest way its a load of shit. Diet culture influences us to set these goals that are not helpful... sorry diet culture, but I don't like you.
I always make a vision board every year. Its my favorite thing, what are some future things that are coming soon. Its so wonderful.
2021 was hard i'm gonna be honest it started really rough just constantly in and out of nationwide children's hospital behavioral health pavilion. It was to the point that hospitals and treatments were all I knew for the past 3 years. Hospitals and treatment facilities. I never got a chance to really heal because I was always getting information thrown at me. but I went to treatment at which may be my last residential ever Center For Discovery and things started changing. 2021 became my first year of actual healing. my first year I actually dedicated myself to recovery and committed myself to recovery... Which is why 2022 excites me. Starting the year off in recovery. Knowing it will never get as bad as it was in the past. Knowing that I am going in the right direction and moving forward/ fighting against my mental illness' daily and WINNING.
I'm so ready 2022 bring it on...
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